Review: Reborn Obstacle Course Race
This is a translation of an Obstacle Race review that I have previously made. Read the original review here (in Danish): OCR Denmark
Distance: 5.5 km
Number of obstacles: 30
For more OCR like this visit: Reborn Obstacle Course Race
Reborn Obstacle Course Race
Then came the day where I was officially to be reborn as a badass by Reborn Obstacle Course Race. I am in a big cold hall, along with the rest of the participants on my heat. We are 30 Obstacle course racers who stand and warm up the sound of the pumping bass from the big speakers right behind us. The DJ spinning records behind the desk. I look up at the bar, would not you rather go up and have a big beer and just enjoy the party from there? No! once you have said A must then you must say Reborn. I’m looking around at the other Racers. Some laugh. Some look a little nervous about. Me? I’m going mentally into myself. I know what is waiting for me. Today I dance with my own inner demons.
I get torn out of my thought as the door in front of us goes and we are called into the other room. It is full of smoke and the instructor tells us to take care of ourselves and each other. He finishes his instruction as a gate at the back of the room rises and a bunch of soldiers bump in. We are chasing out while shooting around us. And we are off!
The start of something bad
I feel bad enough to perceive that we are running through a fence as we suddenly stand in front of a cliff field where some white threads hang down. FUCK! Power! We have not once reached 200 meters yet! I really hate power barriers after I was locked unconsciously by a power prevention last year. I can hear the small clicks from the wires. I breathe deeply. Down on the stomach. Completely down and down. I must have timed it a little wrong or got too much speed as I’m climbing up on the back of him in front. I come out and turn around to see that the power barrier is only 10 meters long. It seemed like several hundred meters.
Next obstacle is crawling under a metal net, where fireballs are shot out. I hear one of the other racers ask if there’s electricity in this too? FUCK! WHAT! I can calm down again when I hear the answer. No, it’s there not. Phew … ..
Next “pleasure” is a 5 km high tower which we must climb up in and WHAT??!!?! Jump of it? No, it must be a mistake. But I get up on the platform and look at the other racers. They just jump. Can they not hear the demon sitting on my shoulder and shouting?? And into the cold water! I’m swimming just as a rock! The instructor shouts that I’m free. All the others are in the water and on the way up on the other side. I breathe deeply, sending a thought to my buddy who usually helps me through such challenges. Where is he today? Oh, he’s gonna rip and take pictures of me right now. I run (quickly) towards the edge and take the big step into nothing.
I hit the cold water. I don’t even know how they have the power to cool the water to below the freezing point without getting it iced, but I’m sure I saw a polar bear waving under the water. I swam about half of the 300 km across the small canal as the cramps enter and I have to switch to breaststroke (aka. dog swimming). Great now it’s both cold and slow. As I look for what feels like several hours getting crawled up the ladder and after walking in circles three times – in a form of cold shock, I can “run” on, with a pair of rubber legs that do not want to do want I want. I’m looking over to start. We have not yet reached / moved 500 meters. Phew, this will be a long race.
Back in it
We’ll get the warmth again with a couple of obstacles and a lot of races as we obviously go on a beach trip. There are three pipes in a water puddle. I step into the water pit and in the third step, my leg goes to my thigh. I’m falling into another breed and now my shoes are also stuck. Welcome to chopped walks in water to the hip. When I finally get to the three tubes, it appears to me that there is water in the pipe and it blows against me that seems like Bodil’s hurricane is resurrected very locally across the Refshale island and she will obviously kiss with me inside the world’s smallest pipe, so glad I cannot pull myself forward.
Even better, then, I’ll get out of the pipe. Bodil has obviously gained strength and I have to venture out and dive under the water. Salt water and sand are just the best to get in your nose. NOT! I get on my legs and try to move on while I try to get sand and saltwater out of my eyes, nose and mouth as I hit a hole again and go to the knee. Continue. Just forward.
After getting the heat back on a small run, we will obviously return to the swimming pool. Out in the water (yes, it’s still as cold) and it’s getting fast deep. I’m going to a pontoon that we’re going to underneath. Now it’s just that there’s a part of the male anatomy that pulls together when they get cold and they get really cold, so they can also pull themselves up in the body. IT MAKES FUCKING DISCOUNT! And it makes it harder to climb up the wet / slippery cargonet. The cool breeze did not help a ski.
So as soon as we get to the armor that ends in nothing, it’s delicious that you can just hang a little dry before you drop and get another turn into the black undercooled water. “They” crawl longer and you can feel that you are alive. Very alive.
After a little shift of sandbags and crawling over scaffolding we came to Hell’s forecourt, aka. Sergentens playground. Downhill, across the impossible slope, uphill, downhill, over stone wall, uphill, downhill. Collect car tires up and uphill back and forth again. Collect 200 liters of oil barrels (if some ask, it was filled) down again. Along with the beautiful comfort of Sergeant in his megaphone, we received many “loving” words along the way.
There was a little more running before we came to the world’s smallest soap basin filled with soap. It’s nice to be washed before we reach a target, so on my belly as my eye catches something. The white wires hanging over the soap. FUCK!! POWER AGAIN?! FUCK FUCK FUCK !! I’d rather freak out the shabby burpees!
Oh, onward! Barbed wire crawl and on to the jerry-can pull. I look up the other racers a little. They struggle to pull the heavy jerrycans all the way up to the top. I’m looking at a jerry-can that seems to have no hesitation. Jumps up and grabs the rope. It’s moving so badly! I smile a little to myself and think: Sometimes it pays to be a bit heavy in the ass
We run on and dance like little ballerinas through the deck. Note: Next time we’ll have to tickle.
We are coming down to the world’s smallest concrete congestion. Hey! We should be reborn! Not buried! I breathe all air out of the lungs and start climbing forward at a very calm pace, just over my head being fired more very high shots, and before the flashbacks of my soldier’s time can now come in, I breathe in, so I’m almost stuck in my narrow concrete floor. Air back and forth. There must be a life after being buried alive. And that life apparently includes a trip over a tall-wall over a 800-meter high wall using what was probably a strong rope. Right now, it seems most like grabbing a wet and smooth medisin sauce hanging down by a vertical mudspoon. The best part of all is that on the other hand, it was the same – but then I did not get firewood in my hands as I slipped the last 200 meters down the rope.
Over and over
On my way to the next wall, it turns out to me that it’s crooked. It leans towards us. I jump up and just get over the wall. Hmm … I try again and get one leg over. While I just hang out and dry a little, I think it’s not always a good idea to be a bit heavy in the ass. But I came over and the next obstacles are ……. Another sloping wall!! As the young people say, WTF. Welcome to obstacle race.
We run down to an area where there are a lot of containers that we have to cross while a few soldiers shout us. Again, the memories go to my soldier’s time, there was also a lot that shouted from me. I smile a little as we run towards the last crawling obstacles. No power!! Jubbiii !!
While we are in the mood with a riot, there is a spectator who shouts at us. I do not really hear what they are shouting but get the answer back that they can just bring a few beers to us. They have no beer, only shots. So suddenly there is a pit stop. Time to Jägermeister! The bottle runs fast between us three races, so we have the strength of the last meters in goal. We get around the last corner as the demon on my shoulder wakes up again. FUCK! The last tower jumping! 800 meters slowly up and very quickly into the still underwater water .. .. Or, it was the plan until the demon reminds me that you can scale – there is also a challenge next time. We jump from the harbor edge. “They” crawl again and I can swim in land for the last time.
I have been rolled today, baptized a couple of times, burned, buried alive and is now Reborn Obstacle Course Race.
Disclaimer: This review is written based on my personal experience of Reborn Obstacle course race. Certain things might be described a bit more exaggerated than those in vainness